sourdough cupcake

Movies worth watching over and over, Lisa edition!

2010-01-19T11:35:00.000-08:00

Top 10 movies I can watch over and over(in no particular order):

1. Dave: I don't need to watch this movie as much now that George W. is out of the white house, but I still watch it a lot.

2. Auntie Mame: True love is watching a movie repeatedly even though it prominently features a totally ridiculous asian house boy character who disgusts me.

3. 28 days Later: Who watches an end of the world/zombie movie over and over? ME!

4. Blades of Glory: This movie is packed with quoatable treasures.. "Spawned in the hell-fires of Motown..."

5. Love Actually: Some people probably consider this a christmas movie, but to me it is a year round movie! ("All I want for Christmas is you" by Mariah Carey is also a year round song on my ipod..)

6. Enchanted April: Downtrodden english ladies break out of their shells during a trip to an Italian villa. Funny and beautiful.

7. Shaun of the Dead: Basically this movie mocks #3 on my list. An unmotivated british man becomes motivated when forced to battle zombies (who thirst for blood, but only stagger along at a snails pace and are super easy to kill)

8. Lord of the Rings 1-3: What can I say? I love the movies and I love the books. I LOVE THEM ALL!

9. The Fifth Element: A future that involves Bruce Willis dressed in Jean Paul Gautier togs? Sign me up!

10. The Breakfast Club: I am such a sucker for the chemistry between Judd Nelson and Molly Ringwald... Judd was soooooo sexy.. I guess I still love the brooding bad boy thing after all!

RIP Brittany

2009-12-22T02:18:00.000-08:00

My friend pointed out many years ago that Brittany Murphy had balls of steel when it came to posing on the red carpet. This wasn't something that I had noticed prior to that moment, but that I came to notice EVERYTIME I saw a picture of Brittany Murphy.
She was campy and ballsy. She worked her angles and made the most of the spotlight, just like I hope that I'd do in the same situation. Poor Brittany's demons got the best of her and her body gave out. In honor of her, I have posted these photos. Some of the best of the super-ballsy red carpet photos:

We will miss your wacky self Brittany.

Simple Pleasures!

2009-12-19T11:31:00.000-08:00

I am alive and healthy, time for coffee again!

I am feeling certain parallels in my life to Debbie Downers'...

2009-12-13T12:05:00.000-08:00

So.... After 8 days of having the flu I woke up today with.......................
PINK EYE.
Yes, you heard it right! After 8 days of isolation, I've managed to get pink eye. It is so ridiculous that it keeps cracking me up!!
I have managed to infect MYSELF with pink eye. Ridiculous!
So in honor of my own bad luck I thought I'd post my favorite Debbie Downer skit from SNL. I hear ya Debbie.

By the way Debbie, Did you know that you can reinfect yourself with pink eye if you have an ingrown eyelash that harbors bacteria from a previous infection and have an extended coughing fit that results in increased pressure to your face, opening up that old wound and letting the bacteria out? That way you can get sick even while your all by yourself... WAAAAaaaah, wah.

Snl is my favorite.

2009-12-12T14:13:00.000-08:00

Here is an amusing digital short from a recent SNL. Please enjoy!

Shy Ronnie and Rihanna!

Still sick, still at home.

2009-12-12T13:08:00.000-08:00

Hello my dears. Since my 7 day flu is all that I can think about, I decided not to tax my brain and blog about it too!

During my 6 years of nursing it has come to my attention that coming to work sick is a horrible thing to do. A nurse is supposed to help her patients to get better, not sprinkle new germs on them when they are at their weakest, right? So over the years I have enacted a strict NO GOING TO WORK SICK policy upon myself. This may seem extreme, after all you could always wear a mask and wash your hands frequently while at work, right? Right, but as a career-induced germaphobe I know that germs have a funny way of ending up on the patients anyway. Plus, nurses who go to work sick (I have noticed) do not necessarily wear masks when out of patients' rooms, sprinkling their germs all over their helpless co-workers. I DO feel guilt when calling in sick, after all I am leaving my trusty co-workers in the lurch minus one nurse for the shift. But I figure that in the long run they would be happier not having my germy ass around vs. being sick for 7 days, right??

This ends my rant.

I know that I am bitter because of my current green mucus having, pathetic state. Sorry.

Do you want psychotic kids? Not me!

2009-12-10T15:45:00.000-08:00

Well, I am sick again and have been for 5 days. Seeing as how I'm out of sick time and won't be getting paid for yesterday and tomorrow (if I am still sick tomorrow) I have been doing some continuing education to make my next paycheck less tragic.

Last night I came across an article linking maternal smoking during pregnancy to psychotic symptoms in their children upon reaching their teens! I guess the nicotine can impair brain development, especially during the 3rd trimester... just a little gem to pass on to any idiot people you may come across in your life!

2009-12-10T11:18:00.000-08:00

Dear Michelle Obama,

You seem to be intelligent, kind, and overall a very fashionable woman. But you may want to rethink your use of the belt over ANYTHING look.

Sincerely,

Lisa R.

For your holiday enjoyment: The scariest Santa EVER.

2009-12-10T11:07:00.000-08:00

I mean, seriously. The fact that this baby is smiling and looking adorable just increases the Santa's creepiness tenfold... Who in his right mind would think that mask would be a great idea?? Apparently someone who wears kid gloves and a dainty watch beneath the santa gear, perhaps a grandma with bad taste and nobody to play santa for her grandchild? The alternative explanations for the dainty watch will not be discussed at this time.

Well, I guess I'll try again?

2009-12-10T11:00:00.000-08:00

Hello my dears!
Due to the absolute suckiness of 2009, I had abandoned this here blog. It really doesn't consist of much and basically is just a way to share things that I find funny with the 2-3 peeps who keep an eye on it. For 2010 perhaps I will try to mix some photos in with the videos to keep y'all interested....

Thank you Kelley!

2009-04-18T11:43:00.000-07:00

As usual, I would like to share a video with my 2 viewers. This video is courtesy of Kelley and has been proven to improve one's mood by approximately 45%. Give it a try!

http://www.whoomp.com/articles/129/1/WNBA-Jam-Cam-Video

I thought I'd update my viewer on my most recent loves from snl...

2009-04-15T14:57:00.000-07:00

Genius.

I guess I like Keenan!

2009-04-15T14:55:00.001-07:00

Another hilarious one from SNL... At least I think so!

The Rock....

2009-04-15T14:51:00.000-07:00

This SNL with Dwayne Johnson was hilarious! I highly recommend watching the whole thing! Here is one of my favorite skits...

Please enjoy.... Jean K. Jean!

2009-04-15T14:49:00.000-07:00

Going Huntin'

2009-03-12T01:45:00.000-07:00

My lovely husband and I have been looking for a house the last 2 weeks and are anxiously awaiting the bank's verdict on an offer we put in a week ago. Who knows what will happen! I am educating myself about the world of real estate, but it feels like I am learning a whole new language and have an IQ of 50. I've never been good with abstract ideas pertaining to money anyhow... Whatever!
Here is a video that I took of the inside of the house:

Here is the video of the backyard, HUGE!

What do you think?

Oh yes....I forgot!

2009-02-14T02:50:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines Day!!!!!!

Hello to my viewer!

2009-02-14T02:39:00.000-08:00

I would like to give a shout out to my one viewer! Together with my one viewer and only sister I recently learned how to defend myself against potential attackers. It was incredibly thereputic to elbow, knee, and gouge full force at a 6+ ft tall padded assailant who looked like this:

His groin was low to the ground and hard as a rock, but I kicked it as if it was real... I owe him a debt of gratitude for allowing me to finally land a solid blow on a real person! Now I know that I can do it if I need to!

New Year's Eve!

2009-01-06T01:55:00.000-08:00

I have been told that I'm entertaining at times, especially when intoxicated... However, I have never had the opportunity to view my drunkeness until now. Thanks to my ever sober husband I have a video of myself being extremely drunk and demanding to have my photograph taken... They say that being drunk lowers one's inhibitions, so apparently my true desire is to be photographed!

More Kristen Wiig for your enjoyment!

2008-12-02T12:21:00.000-08:00

I swear.. Kristen Wiig may be a boring interview, but she's a freaking genius!

Please enjoy a laugh!

2008-11-27T02:43:00.000-08:00

A video for my two viewers!

2008-11-24T22:25:00.000-08:00

This is a long video, but it is so awesome that I've watched 4 times since I took it YESTERDAY!
If anyone (and I mean the viewer who happens to be the mother of this child) minds that this video is on my blog, just let me know! Enjoy:

For those of you with lady love handles, a cure!

2008-11-20T13:35:00.000-08:00

I know that my 2 confirmed readers do not have this problem, however a random googler may find this information useful. As a woman who has lady love handles I have struggled with my constant "muffin top" no matter what cut my jeans are... I have been blessed with hips that are soft and prone to squishing in all directions when fabric meets them. It looks great when I'm au naturel, but one can't be nakes all the time no matter how great it is. So what is my solution you ask? KICK-ASS BIG GRANDMA PANTIES!

I found some *relatively* cute big panties that put the pressure on my love handles using lace and assorted high-tech elastic fibers, making my handles smooth and resistant to muffin topping!!!! These undies have increased my quality of life by at least 5%. Please spread the word to anyone who has suffered as I have.

Wacoal's "lace ahead" briefs: $30

Hanky Panky's "retro" high waist thong: $23

Hallelujah! I would like to thank Wacoal and Hanky Panky for my smooth hips.

My brother in law Michael Phelps:

2008-11-16T02:51:00.000-08:00

I would just like to introduce you all to my new brother in law, Michael. He is a great swimmer.

I wonder what he is listening to on those headphones.

Mandy

2008-11-16T02:36:00.001-08:00

My faithful readers (and by readers I mean reader) have requested another blog post.
Because I am feeling a bit lackluster and uninventive in the BLOGGING department, I will simply post a few photos to satisfy my voracious readers. Please enjoy the following Man candy which from here on out will be referred to as "Mandy" for my convenience.

Mmmmmmmmmm........................... Mandy tastes so good.......

Happy song.

2008-11-09T01:26:00.000-08:00

A happy song for all who can appreciate the magnitude of a black president to black people!

Well.

2008-11-04T01:44:00.000-08:00

Well, my internet has decided that it won't let me post videos without shutting down.
My most faithful reader has requested more blogging.
I feel like I have nothing of substance to say especially since my most faithful reader is a person I see reliably on every single day I do not work. This makes new subjects hard to come by to say the least....
Well, perhaps a joke is in order?

Knock knock..

Who's there?

Eat Mop

..................................................?????

GET IT? "EAT MAH POO!!" HAHAHAHA!!

Once again.. Soooooooo Juvenile!

Cute airforce cadets dancing to old 90's music anyone?

2008-10-14T14:20:00.001-07:00

My cousin emailed this to me and I am forever grateful. Please enjoy the awesomeness of this video:

Please enjoy a joke.

2008-10-08T00:50:00.000-07:00

I realize as I BLOG on my BLOG that I have little to say and prefer to instead share what I find amusing through videos and pictures. The more I write, the less I like what I have written, so let me just share a written version of what I find funny: a joke.

What is brown and sticky?
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A STICK!!!!!!!!!!

I am soooo juvenile!

Another example of fine Kristen Wiiging.

2008-10-05T13:22:00.000-07:00

This is from last night's Saturday Night Live. I loved it so much that I tried to find it online, like 5 minutes after I saw it to no avail. Please enjoy, "Extreme Activities Competition" with Andy Samberg and Kristen Wiig:

One of my new favorite people: Kristen Wiig.

2008-10-05T02:09:00.000-07:00

Please take the time to view this. Anything with Kristen Wiig in it is ALWAYS funny. I guarantee it.

2008-10-02T01:34:00.000-07:00

I guess as a blogger I should share my favorite things with you. Please behold one of my favorite videos on youtube and wait for the kid in the orange sweatshirt!

Furonda and Flavor Flav.. one in the same?

2008-09-29T11:21:00.000-07:00

Now that I have a BLOG I can put the speculation to rest. It is TRUE. Furonda of America's Next Top Model and Flavor Flav of Public Enemy, and Flavor of Love ARE THE SAME PERSON. For proof beyond question please view the following photos:

No need to thank me. I am a public servant.

This video pops into my head quite a bit in my daily life.

2008-09-29T00:45:00.000-07:00

Envisioning these guys dancing in their overalls without their shirts on always cheers me up. Just wait, the miracle appears 1 minute in to the video.

I have entered the world wide web.

2008-09-28T17:13:00.000-07:00

Hello out there.. I have entered cyberspace and am expecting a huge response to my blog about nothing. So hurry up and check me out, I need my 15 minutes of fame.